I think I should be in charge of Crystal Tokyo....

[lord Martiya]

Thanks to your favorite king, the economy has greatly improved.

Since when King Endymion went into actually ruling?

I knew I would be the best!

Wait, we were talking of King Endymion, what do you have about that?

What we have however, is one of Crooked Usagi's spies also known as Goldie Lox Minako who indicted Kunzite, one of the smartest people I have ever known.

Your guy was arrested for impersonating the actual Kunzite.

If it were up to me, I would come to his defense and then I would punch that Goldie Lox in the face!

Do it! Do it, so you'll leave us in peace while your shattered hand heal!

I mean, it is so good to see that the swamp has really drained. I knew that I would be a stable genius.

The Pontine Marshes were drained decades ago, before you were even born.

And then you got Ami. Ami is not a genius. She's got blue hair, which is sad. Blue is such a sad color, just like her hair. Sad Ami has no intelligence over anything other than I guess the fake news media. My green hair, is better than that. Green is the color of stability. Like I said, I am a very stable genius.

Aside the fact hair color has nothing to do with intelligence, she's a member of MENSA. You, on the other hand...

And speaking of geniuses, Wiseman called me and said he would love to meet me in person and we will be scheduling a summit right in front of the Crystal Palace.

Please present yourself to the nearest police station for interrogation about your friend the serial killer.

So I am at my rally speaking and I see this person and she fell down. I need to ask this. Are you ok? Is everything ok? Oh, it looks like she fainted. That means she's excited for me.

Or maybe she felt ill. When did you last wash?

Critic 2: I am embarrassed to admit I'm from Earth because of you!

Why? Mala is actually an alien from Unicornicopia.

 

[Millicent]

So, on the news today, an interview with Makato was shown.

News media: So Makato, what do you think of this Lord Mala guy?

Makato: Well, I have to say that he is so stupid. I mean, he talks about wanting to punch his protesters in the face. Well I got one thing to say, I would like to punch him in the face! Is this the guy you want to rule Earth? I don't think so!

Well I got one thing to say about her. Makato, I like to punch you so bad, I would beat the crap out of you!! I don't need my bodyguards for this, I can take care of her myself!

On day 1, we will start construction on the barrier for Earth and we will investigate Crooked Usagi.

 

[lord Martiya]

So, on the news today, an interview with Makato was shown.

News media: So Makato, what do you think of this Lord Mala guy?

Makato: Well, I have to say that he is so stupid. I mean, he talks about wanting to punch his protesters in the face. Well I got one thing to say, I would like to punch him in the face! Is this the guy you want to rule Earth? I don't think so!

Well I got one thing to say about her. Makato, I like to punch you so bad, I would beat the crap out of you!! I don't need my bodyguards for this, I can take care of her myself!

Wait, why should we care? I know of a Kino Makoto in Her Majesty's circle, but no Makato.

On day 1, we will start construction on the barrier for Earth and we will investigate Crooked Usagi.

With what resources? You are just a bunch of crooks with delusions of adequacy.

 

[TheWinterSoldier91]

What are the allegations that you are hiring those with shady backgrounds to serve as staff for the courts and supreme headquarters? Minako has stepped forward and has said that she has evidence of you tampering with crucial information about our own country.

 

[Millicent]

Liddle Goldie Lox Minako lies, lies all the time. She's a liar, nobody likes liars.

The failing dishonest CTNN, Crystal Tokyo News Network is all rigged and working for Crooked Usagi and Liddle Goldie Lox Minako.

I see this Makoto Kino person is some kind of chef. I need to remind everyone that she is the worst chef ever in history! She acts like she is so tough, no wonder why all her ex boyfriends left her!

King Endymion, or should I see soon to be former King Endymion, you need to find a better girl. This girl of yours, Crooked Usagi is one of the biggest liars in history.

I can assure you that I never gave Kunzite any security clearance, all fake news by CTNN, Goldie Lox Minako and her GMP thugs!

I love Earth and nobody has more respect on Earth than Lord Mala. I am going to defeat the Dead Moon Circus and the Black Moon in a few days starting on day 1 and nobody is more tough on them than Lord Mala.

Words from Usagi: Mala has never, not once has he apologized for anything. He never apologized for his comments towards Rei Hino's grandfather, he never apologized for his xenophobic statements about saying I'm from the Moon and Minako is from Venus and that "only people from Earth like him" should be in charge.

Mala: Well first of all, you owe an apology for all those lies you have made. If you want the truth, go check out Moonieleaks. When I take over, I will install a special council that will investigate your lies that you have made. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Usagi: Well first of all, everything he said was false.

Mala interrupts: Oh really..

Usagi: A guy like Mala is not well fit to be in charge of our planet.

Mala: Because you would be in jail.

We are going to make Earth great again!

 

[lord Martiya]

Liddle Goldie Lox Minako lies, lies all the time. She's a liar, nobody likes liars.

The failing dishonest CTNN, Crystal Tokyo News Network is all rigged and working for Crooked Usagi and Liddle Goldie Lox Minako.

Aaand... Another defamation suit. Seriously, are you a masochist?

I see this Makoto Kino person is some kind of chef. I need to remind everyone that she is the worst chef ever in history!

Everyone who ate her food disagrees.

She acts like she is so tough, no wonder why all her ex boyfriends left her!

Yes, you're a masochist.

King Endymion, or should I see soon to be former King Endymion

There's no elections.

you need to find a better girl. This girl of yours, Crooked Usagi is one of the biggest liars in history.

Wait... You're saying you're a girl?

I can assure you that I never gave Kunzite any security clearance

Because you can't.

all fake news by CTNN, Goldie Lox Minako and her GMP thugs!

You've just been fined for an amount of all your money plus one col.

I love Earth and nobody has more respect on Earth than Lord Mala.

Then why are you insulting everyone and their dog?

I am going to defeat the Dead Moon Circus and the Black Moon in a few days starting on day 1 and nobody is more tough on them than Lord Mala.

You can't defeat the dead.

Words from Usagi: Mala has never, not once has he apologized for anything. He never apologized for his comments towards Rei Hino's grandfather, he never apologized for his xenophobic statements about saying I'm from the Moon and Minako is from Venus and that "only people from Earth like him" should be in charge.

Mala: Well first of all, you owe an apology for all those lies you have made. If you want the truth, go check out Moonieleaks. When I take over, I will install a special council that will investigate your lies that you have made. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Usagi: Well first of all, everything he said was false.

Mala interrupts: Oh really..

Usagi: A guy like Mala is not well fit to be in charge of our planet.

Mala: Because you would be in jail.

When you try to imitate Her Majesty, at least study her speech pattern.

We are going to make Earth great again!

Already done by Her Majesty.

 

[TheWinterSoldier91]

What do you counter about the claims that you are hiring and underpaying staff? And the fact that you mixed business with private stuff with the scouts, including Minako?

 

[lord Martiya]

Breaking news: Mala has been arrested for tax evasion, theft, sedition, terrorism, insulting public officials, illegal detention of weapons, five counts of war crimes, resisting arrest, and jaywalking (seriously: he did that while trying to escape arrest, and the arresting officials charged him for that too), and is currently in isolation waiting for trial.

From this moment on, any post from lord Mala is to be considered a fake from some imitator.

 

[Millicent]

I am the most qualified person to be emperor of Crystal Tokyo and all of Earth.

All of this is a witch hunt! A witch hunt started by Minako and her GMP thugs!

Luckly I got somebody who helped me get out. My attorney, Sailor Lead Crow has gotten me out and believe me, she did not pay 130,000 to "silence" Miss Haruna. I do not even know who this Miss Haruna is. Dr Tomoe said he has never heard of her.

Believe me, we will drain the swamp.

 

[lord Martiya]

Aaaand... Mala got his bail revoked for repeating one of the offenses he was arrested for. Personally, I'm starting to think he's trying to turn himself into a martyr for his (much smaller than he thinks) following...

 

[lord Martiya]

Sorry for the double post, but I have new breaking news: Mala broke out. The guards, seeing his ramblings on this thread, decided there wasn't need for the containment procedures they had been instructed to enact, and as Mala is still an Unicornicopian soldier, he took the first chance and managed to escape from the minimum security jail.

There is now a 10,000 col bounty for informations on his whereabouts leading to his capture. Information only, apprehending him is a job for the law enforcement and we aren't barbarians anyway. Remember, if you see him, stay away and call the GMP: he's dangerous and presumibly armed.

 

[Millicent]

So I was out campaigning and at one of my rallies, just outside, Minako appears.

Somehow, she gets body slammed by Sailor Lead Crow. Anybody that can do a body slam is my kind of person!

This is especially true when you have somebody like Liddle Goldie Lox Minako trying to lead a witch hunt against one of the most honest people in the world, who wants to fix all of Earth's problems.

 

[lord Martiya]

So I was out campaigning and at one of my rallies, just outside, Minako appears.

Somehow, she gets body slammed by Sailor Lead Crow. Anybody that can do a body slam is my kind of person!

So, even on the run from the law you manage to find actors for such plays? Because I know which one you refer to, and I know for a fact that lady Aino and lady Hino were testing the soundproofing of the former's apartment in the Crystal Palace (for the record, the soundproofing failed miserably) and Lead Crow is still dead. And even when she was alive, she knew better than to get into Sailor V Kick range.

This is especially true when you have somebody like Liddle Goldie Lox Minako trying to lead a witch hunt against one of the most honest people in the world, who wants to fix all of Earth's problems.

You want to solve some problem? I could tell a few methods to do so, but the only one I'm supposed to suggest is to walk to the nearest police station and turn yourself in.

 

[Millicent]

Doesn't it ever occur to you? That I, Lord Mala, am more than a hero than anybody thinks?

No really, think about it, when I campaign to become the emperor of Earth, I feel like I am Sailor Moon, unlike Usagi.

I mean seriously, I actually feel like I really am Sailor Moon, as I am here for everyone! I might actually be the real Sailor Moon, who knows. We all know that Usagi is not doing a good job.

And you know what Liddle Goldie Lox Minako should do? Stop buying into this hoax that I colluded with the Dark Kingdom because she would never betray who Sailor Moon really is.

I mean, she is in a real conflict of interest. She cannot lead the GMP and be a volleyball player at the same time.

And then you got the unfair Crystal Tokyo Times. Always treating me unfairly. Just another member of the fake news media.

 

[lord Martiya]

Doesn't it ever occur to you? That I, Lord Mala, am more than a hero than anybody thinks?

Considering everyone knows you're a villain, no.

No really, think about it, when I campaign to become the emperor of Earth, I feel like I am Sailor Moon, unlike Usagi.

That was a mental image I did not need.

I mean seriously, I actually feel like I really am Sailor Moon, as I am here for everyone! I might actually be the real Sailor Moon, who knows.

Quick! Brain bleach!

We all know that Usagi is not doing a good job.

The body count of abominable monsters disagrees.

And you know what Liddle Goldie Lox Minako should do? Stop buying into this hoax that I colluded with the Dark Kingdom because she would never betray who Sailor Moon really is.

And let's add collusion with Dark Kingdom revisionists and sympathizers to the list of things you're wanted for!

I mean, she is in a real conflict of interest. She cannot lead the GMP and be a volleyball player at the same time.

Well, she never did it professionally and retired from all competitions after getting the Olympic gold, so I don't see any conflict of interest.

And then you got the unfair Crystal Tokyo Times. Always treating me unfairly. Just another member of the fake news media.

The CTT called, thanking for your endorsement. They know their sales will increase thanks to this.

 

[Millicent]

Minako Aino is clearly out of her mind! She is leading a witch hunt! I can assure you that Kunzite is an honorable man who is innocent!

And now she is investigating that I incited violence at my rallies! I have never called for violence!

Minako and Usagi, such disgraceful members of the Sailor Guardians who make everybody else look bad.

And now she has came up with a story that I offered Queen Beryl free a penthouse at Mala Castle. Where does she get this information from?

 

[lord Martiya]

Minako Aino is clearly out of her mind! She is leading a witch hunt! I can assure you that Kunzite is an honorable man who is innocent!

And in fact he's not on your side. We're hunting down the impostor you paid.

And now she is investigating that I incited violence at my rallies! I have never called for violence!

Please look back at this very thread for evidence you're now lying.

Minako and Usagi, such disgraceful members of the Sailor Guardians who make everybody else look bad.

It's not their problem if Sailor Venus and her sidekick are too awesome.

And now she has came up with a story that I offered Queen Beryl free a penthouse at Mala Castle. Where does she get this information from?

Uh... You?

 

[Millicent]

So i got big news. We are going to build a barrier onto Earth’s atmosphere and believe me, it will be so huge and Mars will be paying for it!

Does it feel just great that I am your favorite ruler if Earth? I have accomplished more than Crooked Usagi could have ever done.

Meanwhile at a Mala rally...

Mala protestor: Mala is a xenophobe! Do not support him!

Mala supporter: Why are you at a rally then?

Mala protestor: Usagi should be our leader, Mala is incompitent.

Mala supporter: Oh yeah! Mala is going to build that barrier for me!

Now, I saw both get into a fist fight and it was a beautiful thing, they punched back at the protestor. I mean they swung back at him and it was beautiful and that is what we need more of.

 

[lord Martiya]

So i got big news. We are going to build a barrier onto Earth’s atmosphere and believe me, it will be so huge and Mars will be paying for it!

You're already a wanted felon, why do you try and steal credit for the planetary defense shield net?

Or you're just ignorant and trying to build a wall out of bricks?

Does it feel just great that I am your favorite ruler if Earth? I have accomplished more than Crooked Usagi could have ever done.

I think that your "nothing at all because I rule absolutely nothing" is a bit less than repairing the environment, increasing the economy, and so on...

Meanwhile at a Mala rally...

Mala protestor: Mala is a xenophobe! Do not support him!

Mala supporter: Why are you at a rally then?

Mala protestor: Usagi should be our leader, Mala is incompitent.

Mala supporter: Oh yeah! Mala is going to build that barrier for me!

Now, I saw both get into a fist fight and it was a beautiful thing, they punched back at the protestor. I mean they swung back at him and it was beautiful and that is what we need more of.

Amazingly enough, this isn't the most ridiculous account of how a dozen of Mala's supporters got arrested for assaulting a passerby who laughed at his nonsense...

 

[Millicent]

So now it has come to that one of my one of my most loyal members of my inner circle, Kaorinite resigned and has said "Lord Mala, I hear by resign. I am doing this to protest your rule as you have shown to be an unfit ruler of Earth".

Well I say is, I do not know this person and have never met her. She is a lying, sneaky dishonest dog and I do not know her.

Minako has ended her investigation and has found that I am did not collude but I am not exonerated. So what? You know what that means? I did not collude with the Dark Kingdom!

Now members of Minako's team are coming out saying that they got some info on me that Minako gathered. Look, Minako is lying! I never colluded! This is was all a witch hunt and that this should never ever happen again to another future King of Earth!

What they need to do is go after Crooked Usagi for harassing the best king Earth has ever had!

I have created jobs for the world! Usagi? All she ever has done was created mobs, not jobs!